Thoughts of Chairman Meow

Archive for April, 2017

Shredded Wheat??

There has been a strange noise emanating from the back bedroom. Rather like an intermittent, demented bee. Yes, Mother has been shredding…..

I thought she’d finished with this lark when she retired and all traces of past employment with the NHS went the way of the blades. Apart from the very important pension documents of course. You have to save the evidence of pounds and pence. 

She had to stop when the shredder blew its gasket. Just how much unnecessary paperwork did we have in this house?? 

On another topic. On the news just, Andy Donald, from Cannock and Staffordshire Clinical Commisioning Groups has been talking about the demise of the Staffordshire Cancer Care Contract. They wanted this agreement to include the diagnosis of more cases of cancer (amongst other things) and the bidders have told them to stuff off.  

Now I may be just a cat, but isn’t that reliant upon how many cases of cancer there actually are?  Or are hospitals expected to go round making stuff up just to fulfil a target?………

Now that never happens does it?……

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Top of the World, Ma

I think I am in the doghouse. Doing my best Jimmy Cagney impression whilst standing on top of the kitchen roof has not enamoured me to Mother, who no doubt thought that I’d either break my neck attempting to get off or that she’d have to ring the fire brigade to get me down safely. 

What she didn’t know at the time was that I have a secret way of getting off there which involves being on next door’s kitchen roof, lowering myself onto their garage roof and finally onto our wall. From which it is a hop, skip and a jump into our garden. 

What does she expect from me?  I’m not one to content myself with flat, horizontal surfaces. A pitched roof is much more fun. 

I’ll tell you summat though. There is some rubbish in our guttering which she’d do well to get rid off. But she’d have to climb steps to do it. And she don’t like heights……

I suppose she could train me to do it………

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