As some of you may know, today we have a by-election in the home of the ceramic bog, otherwise known as Stoke Central. And Mother says she isn’t voting.
Why not, I hear you call? Is it because when faced with the choice of a twelve year old, a downright fibber, a chap named after an inanimate object or a very, very, very right wing pensioner she just can’t make her mind up? No. It’s because the local council has intimated that she doesn’t exist and has not sent her a voting card. This would be the same council who gleefully collect their council tax every month from, what we now know, is an invisible woman.
Now before everybody shouts ‘just turn up you don’t need the card’, Mother knows this but is feeling very hard done to and is protesting. Was going to say ‘voting with her feet ‘ but if she was doing that she’d be on the way to the Polling Station as we speak. Or perhaps not, as without the bloody voting card she doesn’t know where she’s got to turn up…..
Still. It’s four hours til polling closes. Plenty of time for the Chairman and Founder Member of the If You Don’t Send Me A Voting Card Then I Can’t Be Arsed Party to change her mind…….