Thoughts of Chairman Meow

Archive for July, 2015

17 and counting

Well, today I am 17. If I was human I would be verging on 90. Even though I am deaf and slightly daft, I am still one up on Granny who, at nearly 87, is condemned to a life of staying in watching Bargain Hunt and repeats of Columbo. 

Although today Granny has had a little outing. Following complaints of chest pain, she spent an hour in A & E only to be diagnosed with oesophageal reflux disease. Or GORD as he’s known to his mates. 

Mother would like to know why some doctors have no sense of humour. Granny was asked if she had a high cholesterol. Mother replied that she did, but the GP had decided not to medicate. Mother said that he announced that Granny should ‘go and eat cream cake’. And the very junior doctor assumed that this was true. 

There is no hope for modern medicine if doctors think that the cure for elevated cholesterol is half a tub of Elmlea and a Victoria sponge……

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It’s all Greek

Some guy in Yorkshire has set up a crowd funding page to help pay off Greek debt. If everyone in Europe gives £2.26 it will create enough money to pay off this months instalment. He has raised €1.5 million so far. Only €1,598,480,970 to go….

Mother wants to know where all these people were when she still had a monthly mortgage to pay off.  At just over 0.000005p per European it would have been a snip……

What a racket

Yesterday afternoon, a girl called Putintsava was playing tennis. She lost. 

Mother says that it’s a good thing she has another job as a Russian Presidential Building Society. (Putin Saver – geddit?)

She says that the world isn’t ready for an intellect like hers. 

I just think she talks complete shite……..

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