Thoughts of Chairman Meow

Archive for May, 2014

24

It’s Mother’s birthday today and she’s 53.

She’s invented her own version of a popular American TV show. Packed full of mystery (will Mother remain sane?); suspense (will Mother kill anybody for stupidity?); financial crime (will Mother continue to get paid properly?) and high octane physical activity (in a marvellous dream sequence!!)

It’s called 24 pay days to retirement……

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RIP

Mother was very sad to hear of the death of Stephen Sutton who passed away during the early hours of this morning.

There is a saying ‘to live on in the hearts of those you leave behind is not to die’ – Mother doesn’t know where it’s come from, but it seems particularly appropriate under these circumstances.

I never knew him but I get the feeling that he was a top bloke. When the time comes for me to go to Rainbow Bridge I’ll keep a lookout for him…….

Flo rate

Today is National (be nice to) Nurses Day, which is also the anniversary of Florence Nightingale’s birth in 1820.

Mother sees her as a bit of a cross between Typhoid Mary and Harold Shipman. This is because, in her hospital in Scutari many soldiers died because good old Flo failed to realise the importance of good hygiene. Infection Prevention nurse of the year she wasn’t.

She also had a pet owl (called Athena) who lived in her uniform pocket and did ward rounds with her. I suppose if CSI had been around they would have deemed some of the deaths to be due to contamination with strigiformes faeces (AKA owl shit).

Good old Flo took to her bed at age 38 until she died aged 90. She was a pioneer of early retirement.

Which just about redeems her in Mother’s book…….

So bad, it’s good

Mother is watching Eurovision voting, where Germany has just given Poland dix points.

Beats invading it I suppose…….

Squeeze

Two weeks after acquiring the new car, Mother’s ability to shoehorn it into very small spaces continues. She was a bit worried that she would have difficulty with the car being a tad longer but she should not be worried.

Today, she has managed to get into a space with about 3 inches gap between our car and the ones front and back. It was like someone had picked it up with a crane and dropped it in.

Someone who does not get Mother’s determination or understand her skill was shouting ‘You’re touching the car behind’ from the window of her people carrier.

No shit Sherlock, that’s why they call ’em bumpers……

In charge

In the paper today, GPs are voting on whether to charge for routine appointments.

Like that won’t send people flocking to A & E or get them on the phone for the jolly green giants.

Mother thinks it’s a ploy to get family doctors more golf course time.

I just think it’s a plan to get more people playing that great game, ‘how many patients can you cram into a corridor’……

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