Thoughts of Chairman Meow

Archive for March, 2014

TB or not TB

In the news today – you can apparently get TB from cats, especially if they have been rummaging around badger setts.

Mother says that there is little hope of me passing it on. I can’t be arsed to rummage me way through a paper bag……

Advertisements

Miracle worker

Mother has been watching the magician Dynamo walk on water but would like to point out that this pales into insignificance when compared to the miracles performed by her team on a daily basis.

Giving quality care (with a shrinking workforce) to a multitude of patients across 350 square miles whilst obeying the speed limit when everybody wants everything done yesterday and also making sure that said activity is appropriately recorded could be said to make the loaves and fishes gig look a bit lightweight……

AA up

Mother has been for a lovely lunch today, but on the way back, she was tailgated by an idiot in an AA van, who then sped past her at 50 miles an hour on a 30 mph  stretch of road.

Perhaps he was on his way to resuscitate a flat battery…..Or to breathe life into a flat tyre……

AA – the fourth emergency service….

Know difference

Today I have made a new friend. Alex’s cousin is over from Uzbekistan.  His name is Sergei. He made a great fuss of me, which makes him OK in my book. Mother says that she now has her own Alexandr and Sergei without having to buy home insurance. Seemples…….

This marvellously written article is my 500th post. Who’d a thunk it?  Now all I need is a book deal…….

You raise me up

This week, the Government announced a 1% pay rise for nurses – but only if you are at the top of your pay band. It is also going to be a ‘non consolidated’  award which means that it is a one off payment and doesn’t count towards your pension.  Mother is filled with joy – she can afford a packet of Kit Kats as long as they’re on sale in Tesco.

The unions are already whispering the ‘strike’ word. Mother would rather  work to rule – she has a very nice blue plastic one which looks real good sticking out of her uniform pocket…..

Official

Mother has had another pension forecast today. Instead of taking her normal retirement age as 55, they have still got 60 on the system. They have failed to recognise her ‘special class’ means more than just a place you go at school when you can’t add up. 

The NHS pensions agency says that, since 2004, they have had her down as an ‘officer’, which negates the special class business. Mother thinks that this is a drop-down menu cock up (officer coming after nurse in the alphabet). She doesn’t even know what an ‘officer’ is. 

Although if it doesn’t get sorted soon she might find out. If they say she’s one, she might have to work like one……

Selfish

Facebook is crowded with women who have taken their own photo, minus the war paint, in aid of Cancer Awareness. In the spirit of the thing, I have posted my piccie. I look gorgeous without make up anyway.

Just as long as they don’t ask me to take my coat off…….

Tag Cloud